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Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

October 15th, 2008 (04:58 pm)
tired

current mood: tired

Looking back at all my old journal entries, I've realized I've grown up.
Wow, when did that happen?

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

June 18th, 2008 (10:22 am)
contemplative

current mood: contemplative

Sometimes things get so complicated that you just feel like giving up. And not only giving up on those things, but on everything in general. What are we going for here? What do we honestly think we're going to achieve in the end? I'm always so quick to dish out advice to those seeking it. So quick to lecture them and tell them how they should be feeling, and most of the time those people are happy with what I tell them. The problem is, I can never take my own advice because half the things I say to people I don't honestly believe myself. I just tell people what they want to hear, what I think they need to hear. I'm going home Thursday, but most of me truely wants to stay here. As much as I love West Palm, things are getting so complex there its no longer my get away city. Things are so simple in Orlando, when before I thought the complete opposite. School, dating, friends, no one to miss- no one to love. As harsh as that sounds, not wanting any one to love, its true. Love gets in the way of everything. It latches on to you like a noose around your throat and the only way to get through it is to jump off the scaffolding and hang there. But even then, in the end, you're still dead.

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

May 10th, 2008 (04:20 pm)

I didn't do as well in spring semester as I would have liked to, but I can't go back so I just have to learn from my mistakes. Jess and Tim broke up so I was in West Palm for about a week and then she came back up to Orlando with me. I don't know what I'm going to do when she leaves tomorrow. I can't stand being up here alone. I have no one up here. I hate living 3 hours away from the most important people to me. Yes, 3 hours doesn't seem like much but without time or money to pay for gas to visit, it seems like a life time away. I hate not being able to be there when my friends are going through their problems. I hate them not being able to be there for me. I just have to stop thinking about all of that and concentrate on only school and finding a job. Classes start on Monday. I'm actually really excited for salsa and latin dance, it should be a really fun class.

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

April 25th, 2008 (02:32 pm)
tired

current mood: tired

It doesn't seem like the end of my freshman year of college.
Exams are over, there aren't any more classes and grades are being passed out,
yet I cant seem to wrap my head around the fact that I actually got through it.
It seems like I started so long ago, but at the same time is feels like it was just yesterday. I remember my first class was at 8:30am-Chemistry. I should have known from that point on that I had no passion for anything having to do with the biology department (other than anatomy). I met two people in my Chem class, one I'm still pretty close to and the other I never talked to again. I guess that is the way college friendships really work. Once your class is over, that relationship completely diminishes unless you work hard to keep it alive. It's not like high school, where you see eachother every day, the same faces over and over basically becoming friends just because the mere-exposure effect. It's not like I want to go back to high school, those memories are left too far in the back of my mind to even wish to retrieve them, but I wouldn't mind seeing my old friends. I miss not being able to just walk over to their house, or meet at the mall. Isolation is the one thing that can drive a person mad, and that is exactly what I'm feeling right now. I am, however, excited about the start of a new school year. Now that I've changed my major, I'm going to be introduced to new people, new things and most importantly new classes (ones that I wont want to kill myself in). My new roommates are going to be a lot of fun, and are going to have a positive influence on me. I'm still getting comfortable in my own skin, which I guess is what college is all about- shedding off your childhood and growing into the real you. I'm really nervous about how I did on my exams though, but there is nothing I can do about it now. Everything happens for a reason, mistakes are merely small nuisances pushing you towards the direction of the rest of your life.

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

April 10th, 2008 (03:02 pm)
cranky

current mood: grr

Summer '07 is going to consist of school, and hopefully work.
So I'm not going to be able to go back home for the summer like everyone else.
Theres nothing I can do about it. Yes, I want to see my friends in West Palm,
its not like I'm choosing this just because I feel like it.
Yes, I will miss you.
I'm sorry.
What people have to understand is that I'm choosing this because its for my best benefit.
I'm going to make the best out of it though.
Taking salsa and latin dance, and theater survey, haha. (just a bunch of bs classes to bring my gpa up)
Summer A also means that I get to go to tennesse for my fam reunion,
I'm very excited. 
Staying in Orlando for the summer may not be as bad as it seems,
we'll see...

Kim [userpic]

a change can do us good.

April 5th, 2008 (12:03 am)
ecstatic

current mood: ecstatic

Well, I finally did it. [well technically not yet]
I decided to change my major to psychology.
I finally admitted to myself just how much I really do hate biology, and even more, chemistry.
Even though I love surgery, and being a reconstructive plastic surgeon would be one of my dreams,
I've accepted the fact that it simply can't happen.
The incoming classes to med schools have an average of a 3.8 gpa, a 3.8...
thats .4 points higher than mine right now, and that would be after massive amounts of organic chem, and microbiology.
If I don't get into med school, what is there for me? A bio teacher? a researcher? I would kill myself.
And no, its not like I'm changing majors just because I don't think I'm going to get into med school.
I was honestly not happy with what I was doing. 
With psychology, I enjoy going to my classes and I'm interested in what I'm learning,
minus a few key topics that we learned in bio, I just wasn't interested at all.
Not to mention, even if I did get into med school, I want a family. 
I want to be able to spend dinners together without having to worry about my pager going off while I'm burning a turkey.
I want to be there for my kids, and I know as a surgeon, especially a reconstructive plastic surgeon (dealing with car crash victims, burn victims, etc) that really wouldn't be possible.
Honestly, I really don't know what I'm going to do with my psychology major, and usually that uncertainty would scare me to death.
But right now, I couldn't be anything farther from scared. I'm happy.
And thats how I know I'm in the right major.
Thats how I know I'm doing the right thing. 

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

March 3rd, 2008 (08:11 am)
confused

current mood: confused

out of all the people that have lied to me, i never would have guessed you would be one of them
this is why im afraid of commitment, and this is why im through with you.

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

January 13th, 2008 (03:04 pm)
bored

current mood: bored

[so this is for jessica, sorry theyre soo late lol]
pics of my room...
tried to get a pic of the entire room







My bathroom



yep thats pretty much it =]

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

December 27th, 2007 (12:55 am)

 It's that time of year again. When everyone makes their "New Years Resolutions," that not everyone sticks to. 
Of course, I have mine. This year, I'm actually going to whole heartedly try to accomplish everything i set out to.
1) Lose weight & eat healthier
2) Get mostly A's in all my classes (of course i will always accept a B in chem, but i'd prefer not to)
3) Raise my gpa (which will work if I accomplish 2)
4) Get a job
Those are my primary 4, and if I can accomplish those 4, I think I'll be a much happier person in general.

Kim [userpic]

(no subject)

December 20th, 2007 (11:21 pm)
contemplative

current mood: contemplative

 My surgery went fine,
other than the fact that I got sick from the anesthesia and they wouldnt let me eat for two days,
which is weird because anesthesia has never upset my stomach before, i guess everything happens once..
but other than that it was smooth sailing.
i think im in more pain than any of my past surgeries, which sucks when its so close to christmas,
all i want to focus on is the holidays and i cant because of the pain,
but i can handle it, always have and always will.
its what makes me stronger.

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